Monday, June 29, 2015

Gotta finish it

For some strange reason, I can't seem to finish anything.
I start. I get stuck. I leave it...incomplete. Not quite finished.

I'm not sure where the disconnect is in my brain. It's like not being able to find the right word. Like searching for just the right thing. You can find a million things but not the one you really want.

So the question becomes do you settle? Do you accept a lesser substitute for the sake of finishing? Or do you hold out for that seemingly perfect vision in your head and leave it incomplete? The problem may come from the fact that I don't know EXACTLY what it is that I need to finish it. For instance, I was working on a spread to mimic Donna Downey's Inspiration Wednesday Week #12. I had the background colors where I liked them, even had a huge number spackled on and painted black. I added some number stickers and a few buttons and then I was stumped. I had space that I didn't like. I had no idea what to add to make it feel more seemed so...blank. So I left it. Sometimes scrounging through my stash produces collage elements to add but it failed this time. (though I did get most of my magazine cut-outs organized into new folders for better filing)

So here's what I've concluded: That spread had no plan. I had no complete vision of what it would look like when finished. It's not that I always have a plan when I start...I usually don't for art journaling. But in the course of laying down the background, I get an idea of where I'm going. It's as if the page tells me what it needs as I decide on colors, products, and scraps to use. But with the IW spread, I was just trying to follow Donna's general outline, and I think that's where the disconnect happened. The blank spots in the page were those blank holes in my vision...a finished vision that wasn't really MY vision. I didn't let the page dictate what I did and I ended up with a broken connection.

I managed to finish the page today. It's not a favorite of mine but it is FINISHED. Sometimes, you just want that. To be finished.

On a better note, I also finished a little memory "book" of my trip to Disney World last fall. I used a Collection Portfolio by Tim Holtz and just focused on one aspect of my trip. This came together in a flash (unlike the labor intensive IW spread mentioned previously). See...I had a plan for this. I gathered limited supplies to use and remained within that theme and vision. As I prepped the portfolio, I knew how I wanted it to look overall. So even if I didn't complete it in one sitting, I knew where I was going so coming back to it would be easy. So that's also FINISHED.

But mostly this week, I got over my anxiety about the Gibson Gallery Art show. I have been called "shy" all my life...nowadays people call it "social anxiety". Overall, I think I'm very introverted and socially awkward. I don't like going to public places alone and try to get in and get out quickly when I must. But my sister went with me and I saw some wonderful artwork by many talented artists at the SLC Arts Member Show. The Gibson Gallery is located on the SUNY Potsdam college campus and will be on display until late July.

I blogged about this piece titled, "Selfie". If you want to see it as it came together (yup, I had a plan for this one!) you can see that post HERE. 
My artwork here is not for sale but many of the other pieces are and there were some extraordinary works! Everything from watercolors to pastels to oils and and even pottery, jewelry, and fabric arts.
So this one is FINISHED now.

Hopefully, I will continue to finish a few more things that I can share with the blog soon. But as I've learned I can't really force it; I've gotta have a plan.
"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking."  --Buddhist saying.

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