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Sunday, February 24, 2013

It Eludes Me

The last few days my desire to be creative has eluded me. I did make a few logbooks for a letterboxing event I'm hosting in June but they were the bare minimum. Blank pages made of index cards bound together between covers with my new Cinch machine. While I found the Cinch machine to be super fun, I didn't have the creative spirit to make anything else with it.

I did carve a rubber stamp. It was an original drawing which isn't BAD but it isn't GREAT either. It is a Steampunk style Goldfish for an LTC/ATC swap I have due in April. Now today, I'm just in a rut of being tired, just feeling overly tired.

I would think that the new tool coupled with the new stamp would be enough to rouse some creative energy but it doesn't. Some days are just like that, I think. I notice that some days...I just need to sit around and do ABSOLUTELY nothing. Not like I stared off into the distance all day, but I did spend the afternoon reading TIME magazine...every page of it. Normally, I flip through magazines and pause to read an article, or parts thereof, that seem interesting. So overall, I'd say I read maybe 60% of the printed material. That includes my paper crafting magazines and Somerset Studio. For those, I spend just as much time looking at the advertising as I do for reading any articles. (which, I suppose, is the kind of "reader" most magazines would like to have!) But today, I read the whole thing. It helped that most of Time magazine was devoted to the Healthcare world, which I find to be a fascinating topic. Fascinating because most people have an opinion on it, on how to fix it, but few really understand all of its complexities. Including me. That's why I like to read stuff about it. Well, that and I went to Pharmacy school and worked in retail pharmacy for over 10 years. Maybe I just need a pill?

I just sometimes have "these days". The long days...the days that seem gray even if they aren't. (this one happens to be.) It's not just my brain feeling like all the ideas are lost but my body just feels better all curled up under blankets rather than sitting up at a desk. These days are about watching movies or TV, catching up on youtube videos, and in general, wondering where my energy went. It's days like these whrere I truly miss Netflix. I try not to dwell on this somewhat predicable sapping of energy because then I get anxious. Is there a medical reason why I feel this way every once in a while? Is it something I ate? Something I didn't eat? Not enough water? Am I stressing over things that I don't think I am stressed over? Is it a subtle panic attack?

I just accept the fact that some days are better than others and days like this one just need to be endured. Things will be better tomorrow. I'm sure it's just a touch of stress, anxiety, and not enough water. Yup, I'm sure that's it.

---Wy
"The sun'll come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun."

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